Posted by: ashburnreviews | April 2, 2009

White People Problems

🙂 This is great. My eyes starting watering I laughed so hard when I saw the White People Problems music video.

With Word Press unfortunately I cannot embed atom videos. So you’ll need to check out the video from the original web site. But it is worth it I think. Check it out here.

Difficult crossword puzzles, in-grown hairs, and declining stock portfolios — it’s hard out here for a Caucasian.

I’d like to find the lyrics to this somewhere.

(via Buzz Feed)

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Responses

  1. Hi! Eli Braden, co-author/performer of “White People Problems” here – Posted the lyrics (as requested) below! Please check out our new video “FAT GIRLS” as well – here’s the link:

    THANKS! — Eli Braden

    “White People Problems”
    © 2008 by Eli Braden and Zach Selwyn

    Dude! Bad news. John Mayer just cancelled his show tonight!
    NO!
    Laryngitis.
    What? Man, I’ve been waiting for six months for that show!
    I know. Plus my neighbor is complaining that the new gazebo I built in our backyard is too high.
    Ah! Too high? Who do they think they are?
    Those fuddy-duddys!
    Man, y’all got white people problems!

    Just flew in from New York; Delta first class sucks
    They screwed up my skinny latte at Starbucks
    There was such a long line down at the Apple store
    My labradoodle crapped on my mahogany floor
    My therapist is gone on a week’s vacation
    It’s hard out here for a Caucasian

    We got problems, white people problems
    (Problems, got problems, got white people problems x4)
    White people problems, white people problems
    You know we got ‘em; we really got ‘em – OH!

    They sold out of arugula at Trader Joe’s
    I threw out my back in a yoga pose
    My six-disc changer ate my Counting Crows
    On “The Bachelor”, I can’t believe he gave that bitch a rose
    My daughter ain’t happy with her brand new nose
    We got white people problems, and that’s how it goes

    We got problems, white people problems
    (Problems, got problems, got white people problems x4)
    White people problems, white people problems
    You know we got ‘em; we really got ‘em – OH!

    We got problems in our life (nobody said it would be easy x3)
    And baby just because we’re white
    Don’t mean our burden is light
    I’m sure / Heaven’s reserved a place for us

    My nanny fed my kid some fruit that wasn’t organic
    I thought I told her not to, but I don’t speak Hispanic
    I went off my carbamazepine; I’m starting to feel manic
    And I can’t find a decent fucking Prius mechanic
    Now I have to drive the Hummer; it guzzles gas like the Titanic
    My white people problems are gigantic

    We got problems, white people problems
    (Problems, got problems, got white people problems x4)
    White people problems, white people problems
    You know we got ‘em; we really got ‘em – OH!

    Ah, dude, my dog chewed a hole in my North Face fleece.
    I ate a whole pint of Haagen-Dazs, bro. I’m so obese.
    Can you believe this? I have an ingrown hair on my chest.
    Tonight should I wear my Dockers khaki or my sweatervest?
    Ah! I can’t finish the Sunday New York Times crossword.
    Hey, the new David Sedaris book sucks.
    Oh, I heard. When I scream at Laker games, Kobe totally ignores us.
    What about the 2009 Lexus looking just like the Ford Taurus?
    What about me? My stock portfolio is in a brief decline.
    Well dude, nobody’s been reading my “Sandals” and “Beaches” blog online.
    Ah man. Plus the new Wes Anderson movie is sold out tonight, dude. Guess we gotta see something else. Goddammit. What about this? What’s a – who’s Tyler Perry?
    Oh yeah.
    Yeah, I’ve heard of him.
    Cool. OK.
    All right, cool. Oh! Hey – did you Tivo “Gossip Girl”?
    Yeah, but I didn’t tell you the bad news earlier? I didn’t get that job at Abercrombie and Fitch.
    Bro! Uh! There goes our 40% off employee discount.
    I know. It sucks. Let’s go get a Pinkberry.

  2. Eli,

    Thank you so much!

    Holly

  3. U bet! Thank you!


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